“Groundhog Day,” staring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell was on the other night on TBS or TNT or TNA or TBD or one of those cable channels. Damn, what a great movie. It remains one of my all time favorites. I think we all have those few movies that just never get old. If I come across “Groundhog Day,” it doesn’t matter if it’s 47 minutes in, I’m watching it to the end. I’m trapped by its brilliant comedy goodness and the amazing performance by Murray. Even Andie MacDowell’s L’Oreal TV spot caliber acting chops don’t bother me that much.
Anyway, during the movie, Bill Murray’s character, Phil, eventually takes advantage of his maddening situation (if you’ve never seen it, tough shit. I can’t go over the plot. And you should watch it, anyway). He realizes there are no consequences for his actions. This includes the consequences of massive bodily trauma. No matter how fucked up he gets, he just wakes up the next day, totally intact. In other words, Phil can’t die.
In one scene, actually hoping to die and end his miserable deja vu gone mad life, Phil drives a truck into a quarry.
As I was watching this scene, it suddenly hit me: how fucking rad would it be to do shit like that on a mountain bike with no concerns about what happens when you hit the bottom (and how cool would it be to be friends with Chris Elliot)? You could really take your riding to another level. Launch off El Capitan? Why not? Try to see how far you could ride down the Luxor in Vegas before you wipe out? Sign me up! Two or three times.
And that’s just the suicide moves. You could practice insane moves over and over again until you nailed them. Break your back. Fuckit. You’ll wake up the next morning. Spill your brains all over a rock. No worries. And no reason to wear a helmet. In the movie, Phil uses all his extra days to learn to play the piano and speak French. Not to question such a great film, but fuck that. I would be a bit more active, and that activity certainly would include my bike. I would also try all kinds of crazy non-bike stuff too. Maybe try to track and bone a mountain lion or eat my own arm or something extra mental like that. Why not? That’s a lot of days to fill with new experiences. And I’m not going to feel like riding everyday.
But, alas, consequences will always be the enemy of ultimate riding and mountain lion rape. At least they are for me. I know there are guys out there who jump on their bikes and defy consequences and end up in the videos I post on the site from time to time. I guess it’s how close we live our lives to “Groundhog Day” that separates the men (not me) from the boys (me).