Ex-Gen X

Remember when we Gen Xers (and if you’re not one, glad to have younger/older readers) were like the young, super pissed, grungy, but still sexy, generation in the news? It was so rad. Dudes from Seattle were our angry voices (which is funny when you think about it, since Seattle is so lovely).

Nothing said “Fuck YOU!” to the establishment like a rubber band bracelet.

Shame that a huge chunk of the generation who got tagged with the coolest letter in the alphabet is now growing beards to hide double chins, wear sunglasses to cover crow’s feet and has saggy tits tattooed with a rose that’s stem is actually growing a couple centimeters a year. Maybe we should just face facts and give up the X to people that someone would actually want to fuck. The current generation of 20 somethings could definitely use a little edge. An X isn’t going totally solve that, and they probably don’t deserve our X, but it’s a start.

“So look, if you can look up from your phone long enough, and can focus on us even though we’re not communicating with you via text or facebook, we’ve got something we think you need. Our X. Right now no one knows what to call you. Generation Everyone Wants to Punch You in Your Fucking Wayfarers is too long and Generation WTF is too obvious. And by the way, those Wayfarers aren’t anything new. We liked them in like fifth grade. Check out an old Tom Cruise movie called “Risky Business.” Anyway, we’re going to let you have Generation X. No one will really remember or care that there’s already been a Generation X, so it’s yours. Now do something about your music. It’s…well, it’s just horrible. Back in our day we had great bands, like Ugly Kid Joe and Candlebox.”

You know what? Fuck ’em. They can’t have our X. They wouldn’t appreciate it anyway. And besides, those little smooth skinned (except for the ones with acne) bastards are already borrowing enough from the 80s and 90s (see: Wayfarers). My entire riding crew are Gen Xers, and we still have quite a bit left in the tank. Yeah, a ride never goes by without a complaint about the ever-wearing tendons in our joints, but the fact is, we¬†are out there climbing steep ass hills and actually keeping trim. Can’t speak for the rest of my generation, but some of us definitely still have enough energy to get angry if we wanted (though seeing how we’re all on $3500+ bikes, I guess there’s not a hell of a lot to complain about). And look at Eddie Vedder himself. Still bringing it. Although I’m sure post show conversations go a bit like this:

“How was the knee, Eddie?”
“Egh. Still a bitch, but if I take a bunch of Motrin right before the show, then some at the halfway point, I can deal. Christ, the ‘Even Flow’ video came on in an airport bar the other day. No wonder I feel like this. Payin’ the price. Can’t believe I don’t have neck issues. Then near the end…the shots with my shirt off. Depressing. I still have that six pack. Too bad about the layer of fat over it.”
“Yeah, my shoulder is still fucked. Now that I think about it, Stone’s knee was bugging him when we were in Chicago. But I guess it got better. You should ask him.”

Yeah, bet they’re still the voice of our generation.

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